50 reasons to be proud to be single
Bechdel sculpts the marble of Story with the chisels of mystery, poetry, and myth. Rereading it now, I thought, 'This is magic. A generation earlier, Delany had been a gay teenager living in the East Village with his best friend, family, and spouse, the poet Marilyn Hacker. A couple of years ago, when I read part of it to my year-old daughter, I discovered that now we live next door to the building where Delany grew up in Harlem.
My Tender Matador , his only novel, tells an unlikely love story between an aging drag queen and a straight revolutionary. For a long time, I had no idea. And without Women' s equally confused, struggling narrator, I might not have known such a seemingly monumental shift in self-identity was possible so 'late' in life.
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- Das Duell (German Edition).
As a teenager, I found her in an anthology of women poets. The poems had such a finely-crafted ferocity and vivid, captivating presence. This carries through her essays, too, which feel like urgent, candid conversations with an exceptionally smart companion and gifted teacher. The book, which collects the oral histories of Black gay southerners, was both revelatory and affirming. Reading about the lives of elderly Black men who lived bold, complicated lives helped me locate myself in an under-appreciated tradition. It felt like meeting family I didn't know I had. Black queer southerners are varied, exquisite, and legion.
Though conversations about the LGBT community rarely center people who aren't white or living in cities like New York or Los Angeles, Sweet Tea reminds us that we have family everywhere and would do well to embrace them. Like John Rechy and Samuel R.
Delany, Smukler took dirty queer sex as the subject of serious literary investigation, for which I will be forever grateful. In House Rules , she spins the story of a year-old lesbian making her way through the equestrian horse show circuit. A horrifying marvel. I stashed the book behind some accounting texts so I could find it on my next library visit.
Compelling writing not only gives life to the author's story, but can help give voice to the readers' stories as well. Along with other trailblazing trans writers, Boylan's works have helped construct the language of the modern community and movement and, in doing so, have laid the foundation for progress.
I searched for pasts, for futures, for self. And I found them in Joseph Beams's metamorphic anthology, In the Life , which affirmed what I knew to be true—that Black queer and trans people are worthy of pages upon pages of exploration and testimony. Merrill's childhood had been terrible in many ways, but he described a youth without the misery I had so often found in writings by and about young gay people. Instead, his memoir is sparkly, elegant, full of anecdotes and travels and jokes. I was sad to learn he had died just a couple of years before I happened upon this book.
I never got to meet him. But through his book, I found a friend. Some don't make demands on your time. Some don't need you to keep them happy. Some wouldn't mind if you played video games. But you're just too socially awkward and incompetent and afraid to try to find such a woman, so you get on here and whine and bellyache like you're some kind of big victim. It's pathetic. And there are even women who earn more money than you, but would still like to be with you.
But you probably can't handle that because it would rattle your ego and you'd get all flustered and insecure. Men are not intimidated by women who outearn them. They just don't care about their earning potential in general. Women select men on earning potential. Men don't select women that way. They look for signs of youthful beauty because it represents fertility. This being intimidated thing is just what old career women tell themselves.
So that they feel better about themselves. So that they don't have to take responsibility for their choices. Instead of accepting that they are not capable to attract a partner because they are to old. They make excuses and blame men. And if she's old enough to be out of college. She's already too old for my taste anyway. I would never date a woman over I date girls between 18 and They are more beautiful and fun. They have less emotional baggage. And make lower demands. I have no idea what bubble you're living in, but I don't know anybody who would agree with that, including a number of professional women I know who've experienced first hand that men are often rattled by a woman who can outearn them, never mind having more college degrees, etc.
Or even a guy with average grades in high school feeling inadequate dating a woman who got straight A's. Actually, many insecure men will de-select avoid women who earn more, are smarter, have more degrees, etc. I have seen that in action, personally. Makes men feel she is "out of their league". Sure, because men will never admit it. These women speak from real experience. Problem is with your argument, you just corrupted your argument by insisting that such women are "old career women". You're making up the part about "old" here.
That wasn't the discussion -- is your memory that short? Please try not to confuse the argument in order to appear to be "right". That's too obvious a fake-out argument. I married an extremely smart woman who graduated early from a top university when she was still just Still married to her after 4 kids, and she's pulling in a huge income. Good luck with your continual seeking around, likely with women with little earning potential because you'd be insecure with someone like my wife, who wouldn't put up with your attitudes anyway. These educated women are just annoying in 5 different languages.
That doesn't make them special or intelligent. Educated and intelligent are not the same thing. Every fool willing to pay the insane amounts of money can get higher education. And it doesn't make them more intelligent. They just learned some trick's that might or might not be useful in the job market.
These educated women are often old and brainwashed with feminist propaganda. They often had so many sexual partners that they cant form a bond with a man anymore. They have ego's as big as cathedrals. And have impossibly high standards for a partner thats not even nearly reflecting their own sexual market value. And most only want to marry up anyway.
Why would a high value man go for the career woman pushing 40 with her frozen eggs? If he can also have unlimited free sex with 20 yo models. These educated women are often old. And how is anything you said different for men and women? Everything you said applies to men too. So what? Sure, only in the sense that they don't believe in your claptrap that women should serve men and so on. And how does that differ for men? Remember, again, your math is poor here. Every time one of those women had a partner, it was a man who had a female partner.follow
There is a good chance that you are the “friend” that everyone finds insufferable on Facebook
So anything you say about women here applies equally to men. Just like intelligence is equal too, as amply demonstrated on a very large scale by averages on the College Board SAT, for example. You just like to make up nonsense about differences and "unfairness", boo hoo, wah wah, cry me a river. And you don't? All your complaining here suggests that very few Western women would meet your "high" standards.
In fact, all you do is complain about the low "standards" of women, and then you complain that they have standards that are as utterly ridiculous as yours? Because a lot of guys in the 50's don't want another set of kids to raise, and teenagers to deal with when they're in their 70's. You can't figure that out? And your standard of "free sex with yo models"? Talk about someone who has little life experience.
I really can't think of any men with lots of sexual experiences and good relationships who'd say that. For one thing, your typical yo model doesn't have the sexual imagination, sexual acceptance of herself, ability to have orgasms, knowing what she wants in bed, than a sexually experienced yo who, if she's super fit, is every bit as good looking as a yo. Fact is, a good percentage of yo women don't even know how to give themselves an orgasm.
A good number of them are sexual duds in bed. But, hey, if you like inexperience and dead fish performances, and someone who thinks even standard stuff is "gross" for odd reasons, then, sure, go for all the yo's. You sound a lot like one of those mid-east religious guys with a turban who wishes for 72 virgins. In fact, one of the attractions for insecure men about young women is that they feel there is less chance that they will be upstaged in bed by someone with more experience. You've admitted to that fear quite transparently by your statement, "They often had so many sexual partners that they cant form a bond with a man anymore.
But in many cases it isn't any more than it would be for a man, who is considered a "stud" if he does the same. So it's interesting that your choice of women with regard to their experience ensures that you wouldn't get women who are very sexually experienced and have seen many men and could "compare" you. It's obvious the thought rattles you. No they are not!
A woman above 25 can never be a Don't know where you're from. But here the attractive 20 yo have had half an army already. They do all the stuff you see in porn movies and more. Girls 15 yo own dildo's and vibrators here. I live in a progressive hot spot in Europe. Satan rules this place.
2. Speak up with honesty and stop holding back what you think.
A woman over 25 can't be a 10? It's subjective, my friend. You sound like you don't know that, like it's totally objective. Amazing how much time you have on your hands. You obviously don't have anything you consider a "10" anywhere in your sight at the moment. Bo Derek was 24 years old when she filmed the movie "10". She was cast for that part just in the nick of time. Bo was downgraded to a 9 the following year. I simply don't care about a woman's income. It has no value to me because i will never get married or commit in a monogamous relationship.
I often tell the women that i really like too take some time off work so they can hang with me. I cover their expenses for that time period. Their job is only annoying to me. That only means they are less available to please me. I just want to have a good time with hot young girls from time to time. Why would i care about her job?
Unless she's a prostitute it's not even relevant. And i would never date someone like your wife, who wouldn't put up with my attitudes anyway. But if i were you and she thinks she can tell me what to do. I would remind her that the wife submits to her husband. And i would spank her ass if she's disobedient.
I would never let a woman think she's my equal. I don't like hitting women. But i wouldn't put up with her attitudes. It's not her place to give me commands. A good ass spanking would give her some clarity on the issue. She might even like it. You're repeating yourself over and over again. It seriously raises the question about what you do with your time. No job, or a lousy one, and few friends, I would strongly surmise.
If some people wouldn't try to convince me about their wife's amazing high earning job over and over again. I wouldn't have to repeat myself over and over again. Wow, you seriously don't have much to say. Little insight. Social attitudes align with orthodox muslim immigrants. No job, apparently. And no girlfriend. Perhaps enough to buy an escort once in a while.
Little real social experience. Just a "keyboard fantasy romeo". I'm just a bit bored. I'm remodelling my house in Europe so i can sell it. Most my stuff is already gone. So i hang here a bit in between working sessions. Just a few months and i'll be in Asia permanently. Until then i have to make due. Already shipped the dvd collection. So yes, not much entertainment here. Mostly empty house. I could ask the escort to lay down in between the paint and cement maybe? But sound really echoes here at the moment.
Don't want to get trouble with the people next door. They are already burdened with the drilling and hammering sounds most of the day. So i just annoy you instead.
It's not clear what you're trying to convey here? That you're some kind of cool dude or what? It just sounds like everyday stuff. Some of you may have missed Ben's whopper from earlier this month: " I have two houses on two different continents. One of them a 8 bed, 8 bath with a swimming pool, two hottub's, 4 car garage looking out on a beautiful palm beach in South East Asia. I have a good running business in Asia and a couple mill in the stock market.
Now he has a home in Europe. Did you notice he doesn't specify the nation? Weird omission from his fantasy world. Bella DePaulo, Ph. Single life is a good life? That no longer counts as a revelation. Without a spouse in the house, single mothers do fewer chores and get more sleep. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The New Science of Sleep Experts suggest ways to correct the habits that keep us from resting well. Subscribe Issue Archive.
Back Today. Waking Up Lost and Confused. The Paradox of Expertise. How We Read a Room. Bella DePaulo Ph. Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. If you like being single you can stop reading. The entire empirical test of those ideas was that one Reddit thread.
Are these the real reasons single men stay single?
Submitted by Harriet on August 12, - am. From an academic Submitted by Craig on August 12, - am.
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Anonymous wrote: Submitted by anonymous on August 12, - pm. Anonymous wrote:. Research and social media Submitted by Candilynn on October 21, - am. Yes - finally Submitted by Mary on August 12, - pm. Truth Submitted by Kal on August 27, - pm. Walking away. Submitted by Mike Bolton on October 19, - pm. Why Mike Bolton is single Submitted by Sabrina on November 1, - pm.
Re: Submitted by TP on September 29, - am. The most obvious answer is the source of these answers Submitted by Marcus on August 12, - pm. Um, Marcus Submitted by Anonymous on August 12, - pm. Nah Submitted by Marcus on August 12, - pm. Reply to Marcus Submitted by A woman on August 13, - am. What Marcus says is actually Submitted by anonymous on August 13, - am.
Avoiding the real discussion Submitted by Wade Hawkins on August 12, - pm. And it has nothing to do with the hatred expressed toward men in many cultures? People may believe that honesty won't win you many friends--but even if that were true, the friends you make with honesty will be the right ones. Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and the ability to perform cannot exist. Once you realize perfect doesn't exist, you can ease up on yourself. There's no harm in being wrong or making mistakes, as long as you're willing to make corrections.
Just be yourself, flaws and all, and let people see the real you. Each of us is an imperfect human being, aware that we can't push away our failures and our flaws. Remember, winners aren't people who never fail but people who never quit. It's important to never let success get to your head or failure to your heart. The secret to getting ahead is to acknowledge your failures and have the wisdom to apply them to new opportunities.
50 of the Best LGBTQ Books Ever, According to LGBTQ Authors
Accept that you won't always make the right decisions. You'll screw up, sometimes badly. But your mistakes doesn't mean you've failed, only that you're trying and learning in life. If you are not making mistakes it means you are not trying hard enough. When you learn from them, mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. You can improve your life just by changing the people you surround yourself with.
If there are some who have brought negativity or hurt into your life, accept that those actions cannot be changed or undone or forgotten--only forgiven.